Say Something
by LucianoLovesPasta
Summary: In a tragic way Lovino Vargas and his lover Antonio Carriendo lose their adopted daughter. As the two struggle to get over it a miracle conceived. Spamano and N. Italy selfcest. Writing on smart phone with broken keyboard will fix soon though. Mpreg in later chapters
1. God Is Wearing Black

Chapter 1 god is wearing black

There was a soft rapping of rain on the roof of the villa as the precipitation cascaded over the glorious city of Rome. The house was silent yet neither of the occupants of the house did not sleep this night. Lovino Vargas had locked himself in the empty nursery and had been there for days only to come out for water twice. Lovino's hair was a wreck and he was still wearing the same bloody bandages and outfit as when he found her. It was an awful day that should have been so grand… Maria was going to be 3 and Lovino and Antonio could have never been better.

It was a sunny day and for once in his life Lovino Vargas awoke with a smile. He decided to cook a huge breakfast for todos faillia and start the day off just so. When he was done cutting up fruit and setting the table he thought it was time to go get his beautiful daughter and husband mostly because he couldn't wait for the shocked and confused faces that were ensured to shine upon him soon. oh if he only would have known...

Lovino entered his daughters nursery so that they could both greet their papa but upon looking over the crib only to have the worst site he had ever seen be burned into his mind. His daughter lie contorted in an awful position with the look of horror forever plastered on her features. Being the mob boss he was the first thing he did was silently replace the blanket over the small corpse and wept to get Toni. As soon as he entered the master bed room the Spaniard rolled over and flashed his trademark grin. It immediately vanished when he saw his lovers glazed over eyes." Call 911." Lovino said. Antonio was shocked at his lovers' statement, or more frightened." Porque roma? What's wrong?" Lovino glanced back at the Spaniard from over his shoulder and replied "Just do it."

3 weeks have passed and finally Lovino needed to know whether or not espanga would have him. Whether or not the Spaniard hated or blamed him. the walk to the master bedroom was the longest walk he had ever taken. When he entered the already open double doors green eyes met hazel and the Spanish man smiled. "Hola amore, your bed was not touched while you were gone." Even through it all the smile remained genuine, that's what made Lovino break down. He began to cry into his hands as Antonio jumped up to embrace his love. Lovino knew he didn't deserve comfort and began screaming, asking why, and taking blame for all.

As lovino finally cried Antonio told him it was gods will. At that moment the Italian pulled back to look the Spaniard straight in the eyes. He wondered if the Spanish man believed that himself but when he looked up into those emerald eyes, he saw nothing but pushed aside sadness and unswayed faith. When Lovino spoke next it was barely above a whisper "Why our bella bambina? Why take her and not some murdering teses di merde? Why?" At that moment the Italian looked as frail and as small as the day they met. Antonio could only answer in one way. "This pain will never leave you Lovino. The pain that comes with loss of one you hold dear is far greater than any other known. But as the days go by… It just hurts a little less…. God has a plan for all." Lovino let out all the air in his body. He couldn't do this anymore. Toni had lost his mind. Lovino got up and headed for the door. He paused. "Dio e morto…."

 _Translations_

 _Porque spanish- why not_

 _testes di merde- shitheads_

 _Dio e morto- God is dead_

 _A/N: Okay, that took forever to edit buuut…. Anything for my readers. I am still not sure what I was thinking when I wrote this but again, I apologize for it being an undetailed mess. hopefully I can get around to finish my other chapters and stories. Reviews = love and waffles #(-.-)#_


	2. I Will Not Bow

_And since this is going to still look so incorrect until i get ahold of a computer i apologize profusely once again. Enjoy chapter 2 mi amore. and remember there will be a beautiful ending_

 _Chapter 2:_ I will not bow

Lovino held on for dear life to the edge of the porcelain bowl and to his surprise after expelling all contents of his stomach he felt amazing. None the less he fell back into his bed and curled up next to his Spanish lover. After 2 months of counseling and countless prescriptions for anti-psych meds for Lovino he had gotten to where the grief was not overpowering his life, but it was still a huge part. He and Antonio were told early on despite being a nation lovino was infertile unlike his younger fratello, so they never expected a baby of their own. They adopted Maria before she was born.Antonio rolled over to rub his lover's forehead. "You don't have a fever mi amore, but you've been sickly like this for days… maybe its time you went to the doctor." Lovino slightly whimpered and shook his head. "No hospitale, not now not ever." Spain gave Romano a look of concern but for the tie being he did not want to push his love any further ,as he might make roma stumble over the edge.

After a few hours the telephone began to ring and Toni reached into the Italian mans discarded pants pocket and answered. "Bueno? Si, Feli, it is so good to hear from- Si….. oh he is right here." Despite the insistent shaking of Lovinos head, Toni handed him the phone. Romano took the phone reluctantly and began hearing his brother's rapid speech. It made him sick. Literally so he tossed the phone down and ran to the restroom.' What the hell is wrong with me?!' the Italian an thought desperately.. no food poisoning or else Toni would be with him. no drinking and not flu.

Feliciano rang the doorbell and rocked back and forth from heel to toe waiting for someone to answer the door." Careful Feli, we wouldn't want you to hurt yourself….." Luciano leaned against the pillar that were on either side of the doorway wearing a suit and tie. He felt an undying need to watch Feliciano and keep him safe, mostly from himself. " but luciii, I'm sooo excited to show them, ve~." the lighter skinned Italian rubbed his ever growing stomach to emphasize to his lover that it was indeed a big deal.( pun intended).. When Lovino finally rinsed out his mouth he noticed that he had left the bathroom door open and there stood with his mouth agape was Antonio Carriendo, who in all his years of being with Romano never had he seen the Italian show this much weakness. Lovino quickly spit out the mouthwash.

"Lovi…. You need to go to the hospital now.." The Italian could see there was no point in fighting so he just said." Mi displace…". and got ready.. The second lovino walked out the door he walked smack into something or someone. "Fratello~ the baby can't play like that just yet!" Lovino blinked a few times at how big his brother had gotten and automatically became jealous." We will see you in a bit Feli, Roma and I need to go grab something from the store and we'll be right back. Go on in and make yourselves at home. When they took off Lovino noticed the Spanish man had almost an anxious look about him." Toni, what's your problem?" The Spanish man just kept driving and biting his nails." Oh nothing roma~ just thinking..." After a while they pulled up to a drug store. Lovino looked at Toni to make sure he knew where he was at. Toni began to take out his wallet and kept the key in the ignition. "Umm, are you having an episode again? I told you you don't have scurvy." "Just stay here, I'll be right back…" Toni ran in the store and was out with a brown sack full of an unseen object. He hopped in the car and put the bag in between the seats. Lovino waited until Toni started driving and pulled something out of the bag. A pink box was what he pulled out, and there were several. "Toni…. No..." Lovino looked up at his husband and felt his heart shift. "This is unhealthy... You know I can-""Lovino Romano Vargas, I don't believe doctors… They go to school for years and what they spout off never affects them, they just get paid for the diagnosis. No diagnosis is final until you're dead. There is a chance, always." Lovino looked at Antonio and started crying. "Romano? Romano? What's wrong?! Lo siento Lovi~. Why are you crying?" As Toni crooned and waited for an answer. "I-I *hic* d-d-don't know!" that's when they looked at each other and there was something they hadn't felt since the diagnosis. "Drive faster bastard, what are you waiting for?" Lovino grinned and looked ahead.

They pulled in their drive and Lovino got out before the car even stopped, taking the bag with him and running into the house. Luciano had a glass of wine and Felicaino was where he couldn't get enough biscotti. "Ciao~ Fr-"" Not now! Hold on! Outta my way!" Luciano shook his head and giggled. He knew what was going on, he saw Lovino rubbing the back of his neck earlier, trying to will away the headache. That usually happened at the end of the second month. Feliciano came back to Luciano and saw the dark Italian smiling. "Luci?" "You'll see." It was like Christmas. Lovino took 3 straight off and that was the longest 90 secopnds in all his centuries of being on this earth. His second player Flavio had twins last year so maybe, maybe… As Lovino drifted off in thought and the beeping on his watch went off. He picked up the 3 sticks and was daring himself to look. Finally he looked and his heart fell. Antonio knocked on the door softly. "Lovi~ are you-" Lovino swung the door open and buried himself in Toni's shirt, crying. It clicked with Toni what this must have meant and so he began petting the brown hair of his lover. "sshh Lovi~, I'm so-" That's when he stopped, shocked. Lovino was laughing. "Munde? Oh dios mio. Lovi~ por favor, calm-" Lovino pulled back smiling and laughing through the tears. He showed the three tests out to Antonio, and Toni froze , his mouth held agape. "I'm pregnant." Lovino took a breathe and noticed how good it felt to say it. "I'M HAVING A BAMBINO!" Feliciano spit took his juice. "OH DIOS MIO! DID YOUR WATER BREAK?! HOLD ON FRATELLO! LUCIANO! GET THE-" Lovino came around the corner and kissed his brother. Feliciano screamed and began crying. "WHO ARE YOOOU AND WHERE IS MIO FRATELLO?!" Lovino and Luciano bust out laughing at the idiota while spain tried to comfort the younger Italian. " No no, Feli, Lovino is pregnant, just like you." Feliciano cheered up instantly and clasped his hands together. they would likely never hear another moment of silence.


End file.
